Amelia McNeilly

Pink Patriot - My desire is to share with you the journey God has me on. Whether in joy hardship, I hope that my blog offers a place of respite, and bring joy to your heart!

Articles, Christian Living, Devotionals, The View Looks Fine From Here

Wednesday Encouragement from David Wilkerson

  1.  This week has been a difficult one, but God knows exactly what I need when I need it. He has shown up th in so many ways that have given me hope in the midst of what could otherwise seem hopeless. One of my favorite pastors is David Wilkerson. His book “The Cross and the Switchblade” is an incredible testimony of how God uses one man’s obedience in the cause of Christ, and how he has impacted many with the Gospel message. However, Wilkerson’s ministry has never been easy but I am sure he would say that all the suffering involved was worth it.

His ministry World Challenge which is now run by his son Gary sends out daily devotions from Pastor David, and this week each one has been exactly what my heart needed.  Last night I opened my laptop to read all the latest devotionals that I had missed for the week, and knew that the Lord had put these messages in front of me for a purpose.

The devotion from Thursday titled “Living on the Promises” greatly challenged and encouraged me as I read it. It reminded me once again that I am not alone in my wilderness and suffering. No matter what the circumstances around me are I can always trust in God’s promises to never fail me. Just like God delivered the people from the wilderness so many years ago, He can also do  the same for us. He is always working in and through us even if we do not realize it.  I am so grateful that even though I literally have no idea what my future ahead will be —  He does, and I can trust that He has a plan because I believe every Word that comes from God  As  mentioned below man does not live by bread alone but by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.

I normally do not use other people’s writing in my blog posts, and I am sure this is not proper blogging etiquette. However, Wilkerson writes these words and expresses my thoughts better than I can at the moment so I am going to share his devotional below. I will also add a direct link to it and the many other devotions he has written. Be sure to get on his email list here, and have them delivered to your inbox each morning.  Read and be encouraged.

Living on the Promises  by David Wilkerson

“You shall remember that the Lord your God led you all the way these forty years in the wilderness… He humbled you, allowed you to hunger, and fed you with manna which you did not know nor did your fathers know, that He might make you know that man shall not live by bread alone; but man lives by every word that proceeds from the mouth of the Lord” (Deuteronomy 8:2-3).

I repeat these words throughout my day: “I live by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.”

If God’s Word cannot be trusted — if the Bible is not the very inspired Word of God — then life is in vain. There can be no hope on the face of this earth.

When this word in Deuteronomy came to Israel, conditions in the wilderness had become very scary for them. God had allowed them to experience thirst and pangs of hunger, and now from the very mouth of the Lord we hear these words: “I humbled you and allowed you to suffer hunger and thirst. Why? All because I sought to make you know you can trust Me. You can live on My promises.”

God was not going to let His people starve or die of thirst. He knew exactly what He would do to deliver them. And, beloved, God also has a plan for your deliverance.

Oh, how we need the Holy Spirit to lead and comfort us in our trying times. Without His presence, His guidance, His daily outpouring of strength, none of us could make it. No human determination can survive the daily testing we endure on the path.

Daily we must cast ourselves upon God’s revealed Word and trust the Holy Spirit to make it become life to us. “By the word of the Lord the heavens were made, and all the host of them by the breath of His mouth… He spoke, and it was done; He commanded, and it stood fast” (Psalm 33:6, 9).

To read other devotionals from David and his son Gary visit here.

Articles, Christian Living, Disability, Family, Friendship, The View Looks Fine From Here, Uncategorized

Hope a Little More Part 2

In 2014, I wrote a post titled “Hope a Little More,” and now almost three years later it seems appropriate again. I wrote that post prior to a major surgery after finding out my colon had shut down. I honestly had no idea what to expect in the future. Fast forward two years later and I am finding myself in the same boat, but instead of my colon it is now my bladder that is causing me to have so many problems. I have been on antibiotics for almost a year now continually, and my infection went sepsis a month ago, and I am now on super strong treatments over the next couple of months.

On Monday, I went to  Charlotte to see Dr. K’s (urologist) physicians assistant. Usually my time with her is not very productive and Monday’s visit was much of the same. However, she did tell me that she thought my options surgically were limited and that even if I had surgery that my quality of life from these infections  would not improve. She also mentioned two other small options for treatment but those may not work either and I would have to wait for final decisions from Dr. K. Unfortunately, I am not scheduled to see him until October and no matter how many times I have tried they will not move up the appointment date.

The conclusion for now is that nothing else can really be done except to treat the infection until it cannot be treated anymore. The PA wants me to stay on my treatment plan with the Infectious Disease doctor and do what he says until I see Dr. K in October. Even though I knew this was most likely the case going in, and is something my parents and I have discussed many times, it is still hard to hear. No matter how prepared you are, no one wants to hear that nothing else can be done.

Currently, I am on an antibiotic treatment for two more months and then we will figure out the next treatment plan after that. Hopefully the one I am on now will continue to work well for the duration of the time I am on it, but it may not. The only thing we can do is keep doing what we are doing and pray, pray, pray! The main goal right now is to keep it from going sepsis again.

I am a planner by nature and I like to have a plan and timeline, but I have no idea how long we can make the treatments work or when the infection will get bad again. I have been reminded this week more than ever that I’m not the one in charge of my life, plans, or desires, but Jesus is. He alone knows what my future holds and my trust in Him is being  pushed to another level. My  dear friend Kristin texted earlier this week and said that I was going to get to know God in a unique and new way through this. She also mentioned that this is the type of surrender and trust that can only come from a situation like this –the kind we can only get when situations are completely forced out of our hands. She is right, and even though this week has been hard, God has continued to carry and give me hope with each new day.

One passage that has comforted me lately is Psalm 27:13-14 which states,

“I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would have seen the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord;Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord.”

Moving forward I am going to find the good in each day and enjoy the little things God brings my way. I will also allow His courage to carry me, and most importantly,

I will not lose hope because of Jesus. He is HOPE, and it my privilege to serve Him all of my days.

As one of my favorite songs from “For King and Country” says,

“I will dance a little, laugh a little, and hope a little more.”

Thanks to everyone one for your continued prayers. Pray that the doctors have wisdom for future treatments and that this current round of treatment continues to work. Pray for my parents as they continue to care for me. I know it’s not easy for them!either so please pray for their encouragement. Also, pray that that we have peace beyond our understanding no matter the outcome, and that we are able to “hope a little more” each day. Thanks so much.

Articles, Christian Living, Devotionals, The View Looks Fine From Here

It’s Friday – Encouragement for Your Weekend!

Hello all! It’s the end of the week! Yay! Yesterday on the blog, I talked about Nehemiah and what he teaches us about prayer (read that post here).

Along with that I recently heard a helpful podcast from Leslie Ludy at Setapartgirl on improving your prayer life. It is super encouraging and challenging, and was exactly the message I needed to hear this week. Take a moment this weekend and listen to it. Her other podcasts are wonderful as well, and they always point me back to Christ.

The ministry of Setapartgirl has been a great encouragement to me during this hard season. I can be having a bad day and turn on one of these episodes and I they always remind me to fix my gaze on Christ and spend time in the Word.

Listen to “How to Make Prayer a Priority,” here. I hope you all have a great weekend! For other helpful resources visit the Setapartgirl website here.

Articles, Books, Christian Living, Devotionals, Reading, The View Looks Fine From Here

A Monday Devotional – More Than the Grains of Sand

“How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered!
I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand.” ~Psalm 139:17-18

Happy Monday, dear friends! Even though my infection is improving, I am still not getting a lot of sleep, but I am thankful for books to read during the long days and nights. Over the weekend, I read Robin Jones Gunn’s book called “Sandy Toes.” It’s a continuation of her Christy and Todd series. Anyways, throughout the book Robin quoted the passage found in Psalm 139:17-18 where it says God loves us more than all the grains of sand. I’ve read this passage more times than I can count over the years but the past few days it has been the reminder my longing soul has needed.

It’s impossible to number all the grains of sand, but God’s love is so much greater than that. It is hard for our human minds to comprehend but these verses share the enormity of His love. While reading the passage last night a lightbulb went off in my head and I thought,

“God loves me this much so why am I worried and anxious?” Why am I discontent? With this type of love from the Lord I should never worry about anything again no matter how hard things may be.”

God loves us deeply and in return wants us to trust Him. He delights in our surrender and wants us to go through life living restfully in Him.”

God has proven time and time again His great love for me and as mentioned in previous posts, I need to let go of my stubbornness and let Him love and lead me. Below is a statement that I need to tell myself daily, and I pray that it is one that you will say to yourself  as well.

“Instead of fighting so hard on your own, let Jesus fight all your battles, and accept the peace He gives while He is doing so.”

Because of His perfect love, He will never lead us astray even though we may not always understand His plans. It is also because of His love, that when the view ahead seems bleak, we can still manage to have joy and not be afraid. If you need some encouragement today, read Psalm 139 and be reminded of how deep God knows and loves you. He knows you better than anyone ever will and that is such a precious gift. Let His deep love change and guide you.

Be sure to visit the blog tomorrow as I start a new Blog series focusing on the book of Nehemiah.

Articles, Christian Living, Devotionals, Family, Friendship, The View Looks Fine From Here

Thursday Praises!

Hello friends. I have had a busier week than normal for me the past few days and even though I’m exhausted and weak, I have a thankful heart.

I had a wonderful Easter with family and have been strong enough to be out of bed for small amounts of time this week. I still have a long road ahead but I’m thankful for a treatment plan that is working more than the others have, and for friends and family who make my days easier. Today I had a visit from one of my best friends Casey and her adorable son Malakai. We have not got to see each other much lately but I’m so glad today worked out. I was also able to talk with another close friend Erin which always encourages my soul. Sweet kiddos and good conversations with friends always makes me feel better.

One of my favorite Bible passages is found in 1 Thessalonians 3:16-18. It states,

“Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 

My mind keeps coming back to the last verse where it mentions “in everything give thanks.” That does not mean for when things are going the way we planned or when we consider life is good. No, it truly means in all things. With Easter being this past weekend, I was reminded once again of the beauty and truth of the Gospel. Even though my life is hard and some days I don’t see outside my bedroom, God is still good and He is flooding my heart with things I have to be thankful for. So today I praise Him for a little progress and the simple things that have brought joy today. Earlier as I was thinking on these things, peace came over me and my perspective got a little brighter. Being thankful can make your day better even if circumstances do not change. Spend some time thinking over your week and thank God for the things He has blessed you with.

Fill your heart and mind with thanksgiving and joy you did not think was possible will come.

Sweet Malakai

Articles, Blog Series, Christian Living, Disability, The View Looks Fine From Here

Rainy Days and Wednesdays ☔️

Happy Wednesday friends. It’s the middle of the week and I pray wherever you are that your week is going well. It is a rainy Wednesday here. I’ve been awake since 4am. I’m not getting much sleep these days due to pain and not being able to relax. I can definitely relate to the moms out there who have to be up all hours of the night. It is not fun but I’m hoping as the infections improve that I will start sleeping better. It’s only 11:30am and I feel like it’s already been a long day.

I had an appointment with the infectious disease doctor in Gastonia earlier today. Overall that went well. Last time he treated me with a one time dose of meds through the iv. This is a new drug that’s very powerful and it stays in your system 4-6 weeks. In addition,he also prescribed an extremely large dose of oral antibiotics each day. Overall, I am seeing some improvement so he is going to keep me on the same oral dose for three more months. These meds are harsh and  hard on my system but if my infection stays down it’s worth it. Doing the infusion again soon is another option if I need it.  While it is good these meds are working, I eventually will be resistant and they will have to do something else. Once I go off meds it is guaranteed the infection will return.  Basically it will always be there but the meds help control it. I see a urology nurse practitioner in May and then the urologist in October. My case is so complicated most doctors don’t want to treat my bladder issues. However, in October and maybe even May, I will know if surgery is an option or not. Hopefully these antibiotics will continue to help the infection and allow me to build my  strength up. This summer my prayer is to be out of bed more and able to get in the pool each day, but we shall see.

I am trying to live with the attitude of gratitude today and so thankful for these small improvements. I still have a long road ahead but I’m so thankful for Jesus who carries me each step of the way.

When I am weak He is strong (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Thanks again to all of my prayer warriors who daily lift me up to the Father. It means the world to me and my family!

Articles, Books, Christian Living, Devotionals, Disability, The View Looks Fine From Here

This is My Africa – The View Looks Fine from Here


This past weekend has been a humbling one, and I needed this timely reminder of what Jesus has done for me.

No matter how many trials I face, there is nothing He does not understand due to His death and resurrection. Instead of complaining about my current season, I realized that I am so undeserving of the Lord’s grace and love. He deserves all my praises not just when life is good but in the sufferings as well. It doesn’t matter how unfaithful we are, the Lord is always faithful to us. His love knows no end. Certain circumstances may make it difficult for us to view life from this perspective, but the Lord uses all things — joys as well as sorrows — for His glory.

As Philippians 1:21 states, “To live is Christ and to die is gain.” It should be my privilege to serve and rejoice in Christ on a daily basis despite the struggles I face. I may never know the reasons God allows me to suffer in this life but I will understand when I get to Heaven and that is all the explanation I need.

The Lord never stops working in our lives no matter how hard some days can be. Because of my chronic infections, I spend the majority of my days at home laying in my hospital bed. This allows me a lot of time to read, pray, and dwell on both the struggles and joys of life. On my sickest days I tend to worry and fret about what is to come and create many “what-if” scenarios in my mind (I think we have all been guilty of this at some point). Last week in my pondering I told God,

“Lord if I were healthy, I would be serving you in Africa or somewhere overseas. If I could, and if I were healthy just think of all the ministries I would be involved with?”

Then the Lord hit me hard with His response. After thinking and praying, I felt the Lord say,

“Amelia, you said you would be willing to go anywhere and do anything for me so how about living fully right where you are? This is where I want you and am using you for my glory. This is your ministry. I am using you more here than I would be using you in Africa because you are not meant for Africa — You are meant for here. This is your Africa. So child, be obedient to me and share what I am teaching you during this season.”

Wow, what a wakeup call from King Jesus. While overseas ministries are much needed, and working in a church Ministry full-time would be wonderful, God is showing me once again that I can be in ministry for Him even from a hospital bed. This is not what I had in mind by the time I was 32, but this is where God has me. Therefore, I desire to be obedient and make the best of the life He has given. As scripture points out, God often uses our weaknesses for His strength.

You may not be dealing with health issues but I know we all have our trials. I want you to be encouraged that God is using you even on the worst of days. He loves you more than you can imagine so continue to press into Him, and allow Him to work.

Throw out your expectations and desires. Instead, surrender to what the Lord has for you. Only then will you be content.

Let go of the pride or whatever is holding you back. It may not be easy but the Lord will carry you.

It is my desire to write more and share what God is teaching me in what I would call the most mundane of circumstances. However, beauty and joy can be found in the mundane so I look forward to sharing with you more of my journey in a series called “The View Looks Fine From Here.”

Also, thanks to all my prayer warriors who are praying for me daily. It means the world to me. I have an appointment with my infectious disease doctor tomorrow so I will post more details following that. I hope everyone has a great day!

Articles, Christian Living, Devotionals, Disability

Monday Update

Happy Monday,ya’ll, and what a Monday it has been. I had an appointment this morning at my general practitioner. However, when I woke today I knew I would not be going anywhere. I felt bad all over with pain, nausea, and fever. As sad as it has made me to think this — all signs were leading toward infection, infection, infection. In perfect timing my doctor called right after that and said the urine culture taken last week was positive. This means that following a two week dose of super strong antibiotics both iv and oral, my bladder grew the same bacteria again. Basically the infection never totally went away.  The treatments worked well enough to get it out of my blood stream but did not eradicate it completely. My GP decided to treat it with an oral antibiotic for the next couple of days, but in the end I will probably need something a bit stronger. The bacteria I am growing is extremely resistant and one of the most difficult ones to treat. I called my infectious disease doctor but he is not in this week. However, I have an appointment with him next Monday and I am praying that this antibiotic will control things until then.

If I am being honest today has been a bit heartbreaking. I knew another infection would come around but I did not want it to be so soon. As I have spent the day praying and crying out to God for wisdom and help, He reminded me of this verse found in Psalm 147 – “The Lord heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” As hard as today has been God has not left my side. He knows better than anyone how I am feeling, and in the midst of my suffering He gives me a comfort that only He can. He is  carrying me through each moment. As I say often, the Lord knows my love language and encourages me in ways that no other person ever could.

I don’t know what you are facing today but I know that life can be so hard, and that I am not the only one going through trials. There are many things we may not understand on this earth, but take heart that God is with you and He will give you peace beyond all understanding. Cry out to Him. Tell Him what you are feeling, and talk to Him like you would your best friend. He is the Great Physician and He can make the impossible possible.

I want to say thank you once again to those of you who have been praying me through this journey. That means more than you will ever know! Over the next few days as you think of it please pray that this antibiotic responds well and that I do not go sepsis again. Also, pray for me and the doctors to have wisdom in regards to future treatments. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I would love to pray for you as well so please let me know how you need prayer.

I will update again soon and hope you all have a great week.

Articles, Christian Living, Devotionals, Disability

The Great Surrender

The past couple of weeks have been some of the most difficult of my life. I am continually keeping a bladder infection, and the latest one landed me in the hospital by going sepsis. Sepsis has been a fear of mine since having these infections. I have continually prayed against that, but praise God it was caught in time and was treatable. However, I am still very weak, and it is likely that another infection will be returning soon.

At the beginning of my hospital stay I was very worried, and still concerned. Although, after spending much time with the Lord, I have peace and my heart has a wonderful sense of freedom which only comes from Jesus. Worrying and fretting does not help my situation at all. The Lord has continually reminded me over the last several days of the tremendous weight that would be lifted off my shoulders by once again trusting Him. Why is it we tend to fight for control when Jesus says, “Let me carry this for you.” This is where suffering and faith meet — believing Jesus when healing is not guaranteed, believing Jesus on the days where there are absolutely no answers, believing Jesus when I cannot get the quick appointment with one of the only specialists in the state that is experienced enough to take my case, and believing Jesus when the only plan of attack is to treat each infection as they come knowing they will continue to come one after the other because there is no permanent cure, and believing Jesus when I no longer be homebound, but there is no visible end in sight.

This is my life right now and these are the struggles I bring to Jesus every single day. Without Jesus these trials would make me want to curl up in a ball and never come out again, and it is because of Jesus that I can honestly say today that I am free. Of course each day is still hard and I have to surrender these things anew every morning, but God has met me every single time. If I believe that God is who He says He is and I take the Bible at its Word,  then even on the worst of days, I can still be 100% free because I am in Christ. By taking my position in Christ, I can walk through whatever comes my way. He will give me strength for the trials and a sense of joy that only comes from a surrendered life.

I may not know what is ahead for my health tomorrow, but I am finding solace in trusting in the great Physician who does. I have never felt so out of control or as in the dark about where my life is headed, but there is also freedom in that. I don’t need to worry about taking charge, or figuring out what is next because God has the ultimate control and there is nothing else I can do to change my circumstances. God only asks that I trust Him and allow Him to lead me.

Many of you have asked for a health update and I want to thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers. A few days ago I just finished a round of antibiotics and I am already having symptoms of the infection flaring up again. I had a test on Wednesday, but do not have the results yet. Unfortunately, I will not be able to see Dr. K (the urologist in Charlotte) until October even though many phone calls have been made. However, I do see his nurse practitioner in May. The plan for now is to continue to see my local doctor and my infectious disease doctors, and for them to treat my symptoms to the best of their knowledge. I do see my GP on Monday and then I see my ID the week after next. Today, I have been experiencing lots of pain and nausea so prayers for that to calm would be greatly appreciated. Also, prayers for wisdom for my local team of physicians would  appreciated as well. I am humbled as to how many folks are praying for me. It means more than you will ever know.

I am going to try to post more frequently, and share what God is teaching me through this journey. While we are all facing different circumstances, I want my blog to be a place that will encourage you in whatever you may be walking through, and to remind you that you are not alone. My desire is for you to leave my blog encouraged by God’s truth and His Word, and for it to be a place to cheer each other on. I would love to hear your story as well and how I can be praying for you so if you feel led please comment and share.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend and stay tuned for more updates to come!

Articles, Christian Living, Devotionals, Disability

Be Anxious for Nothing – Weekend Devotional

Cast your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. ~1 Peter 5:7

This verse has been coming to my mind over and over again lately. I was up all night Friday sick from pain and nausea, and my pain worsened throughout the day yesterday. Last night my heart rate was dangerously high so I went to the ER.  I’ve always had high heart rate but never this sevete. Thankfully after several large doses of meds and antibiotics it finally slowed down. Also, while there, the doctor read my last urine culture from last week and it confirmed an infection. I could not have asked for better service in the ER. Everyone was extremely nice and helpful. I’m super grateful for my parents and my cousin Laurie who went with me last night.So thankful for all they do for me.

The infection and pain are the causes of my heart rate. However, they did a couple tests to make sure my heart was okay and praise the Lord all turned out good. I’m still planning to go to Winston Salem tomorrow for my appointment with a urology specialist, but we are waiting to drive down in the morning, and not today as originally planned. All of that being said, I woke this  morning feeling very overwhelmed but that is when the Lord reminded me of this verse in 1 Peter.

So many times instead of giving our cares to Jesus, we share them with everyone else but Him. I have s tendency to be anxious and worry. My mom has always told me that as soon as I drop one worry, I pick up another. However, that is not how God wants us to live. Throughout scriptiure He makes it very clear that we should be anxious for nothing, and an example of this is found in Philippians 4:6-7.

I like the way the message paraphrase reads. It states,”Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.”

Jesus does not find joy in seeing his children fret and suffer. He does not promise a life free of pain, but does promise to camfort and give us what we need. He delights, pursues relentlessly, and desires to give us rest. As we surrender and submit to Him our entire perspective changes. Being physically sick is hard enough without adding worry into the mix. Even though the past  few days have not been easy for me, Jesus has given me the joy and grace I need for each moment which makes my sickness seem more tolerable. As a follower of Christ, He is my first love and  the king of my heart. Instead limiting us, submitting to Christ frees us to be the people He created us to be.

Whether you are going through a season of joy or sorrow, I hope these nuggets of truth will encourage you as they have me this morning.

Thank you Jesus for comforting my soul today and for giving me peace and a reason to praise even in the hard!

That is my prayer for each of you as well.

ameliamcneilly
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