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Amelia McNeilly

Pink Patriot - My desire is to share with you the journey God has me on. Whether in joy hardship, I hope that my blog offers a place of respite, and bring joy to your heart!

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Family, Friendship

No Man Is An Island

I think one of the things God uses for encouragement to someone going through any type of trial is surrounding them with friends who lift them up when they are weak and loving them right where they are. We see community played out in the Bible, most importantly through the trinity – God, Jesus His Son, and the Holy Spirit. That should be the foundation of any relationship we have. Communion with God should be first above all else which allows the Holy Spirit to guide us throughout our days. Loving Christ well helps us love others well, and gives wisdom in how to best love the suffering.

The best type of friend to someone suffering is one who just shows up. It doesn’t take fancy offerings or a formal visit. Those are appreciated and kind, but most of the time the person needs their friend to just be with them in whatever way that looks like at the moment. Whether it’s a phone call, a visit, or someone who brings a meal so the caregivers don’t have to cook — these are practical ways to help in the day to day.

No matter how I feel company always lifts my spirits as well as my parents who are my care givers. As my mom tells people you don’t have to call or plan ahead, just come by when you have a free moment. My parents are suffering as much as me and need just as much encouragement and prayers as I do. Outside of work they spend most of their time with me which proves the point that no man is an island.

 

Our trials have a tremendous effect on those around us whether we like it or not. So many times we let pride take root and think that we don’t need other people, and that is not true. There are some weeks I don’t see outside of my bedroom so conversations and any connection to the outside world is needed. I treasure my phone calls, FaceTime chats, and visits from my friends. They keep me sane. Even though most of my close friends don’t live nearby I’m thankful to talk with them daily which provides me with my own sense of community. It may not be how others experience community but this works the best during this season. I’m continually grateful to have friends who encourage and constantly pray for me. I have a small group of friends that have been with me through thick and thin and no matter the circumstances they are always there for me. We have prayed together, cried together, and laughed together. The last few weeks I have been too sick to talk on the phone most days and some days texts and audio messages are all I’m able to do but my friends are always gracious and understanding. Friendship is a gift from God and I’m grateful for the friends He has surrounded me with.

Also, just because someone is suffering doesn’t mean their friendship with others should be halted, or only focused on the one experiencing the trial. Often times friends think they can’t share what is going on in their life because they think what they are going through is not as crucial and they do not want to be a bother. I’ve seen this played out so many times. I can understand why they might feel that way, but for me personally that is not true. Yes, I am sick right now and yes I need my friends. However, life goes on and I’m not the only one who is struggling. It is not all about me, and friendship goes both ways. I want my friends to share their life with me as they always have and want that aspect of our friendship to stay the same. Instead of growing friends apart, if handled correctly, trials can grow friends even closer. Some of the sweetest times of my week are hearing what is going on in my friends lives –hearing funny stories/seeing pictures about their kids, or about the vacation they took, or the new job they just started, and how I can pray for them, just to name a few. I’m not able to go out and experience life with my friends but I love it when they send pictures or videos from the day to day in their life because in a small way it makes me feel like I’m there. Last October when my best friend Sara got married I was too sick to come to the wedding so they FaceTimed me in. Of course I would have rather been there in person but that was the next best thing, and I’m so thankful to Sara and George for being intentional to make that happen.

For all who are reading this I don’t know what you are experiencing or what your loved ones may be going through but you are not alone. If you are going through a trial do not be afraid to share. By sharing you open up the door to not only be encouraged but also an encourager to someone going through the same thing. If you know someone who is experiencing suffering right now ask God how you might can encourage them. Whether it’s a person struggling with a disability/chronic illness, an elderly neighbor, a young mom, or care givers of the sick, ask the Lord how you can practically encourage them in their time of need. One of the best ways to get through a hard week is to spend time praying for and encouraging others because it takes your mind off of yourself. I have found that serving others for Jesus is the best balm for a weary soul and a broken heart. I pray that whatever season God has you in that you are able to not only find comfort in His love but that you comfort others.

Leave a Comment August 28, 2017

Articles, Christian Living, Devotionals, Disability, Family, Friendship, The View Looks Fine From Here

Hospice, Hospital beds, Oxygen, and Super Heroes Oh My!

Hospice, Hospital beds, lift chairs, oxygen, and super heroes oh my! I titled my post that because the past few weeks have been crazy with so much happening healthwise.  My once cute room is now filled with multiple medical supplies. I laugh just thinking about what might be brought in next. Haha! When my friend Kristin visited a few weeks ago she brought super hero decorations and decorated my equipment. It was fitting because lately I have needed an extra dose of super hero power in my days. It is hilarious and I love it.

On to other health news, for months many of you have prayed for the Lord to provide a miracle and to allow there to be a cancellation with Dr Kinnelly in Charlotte so I could see him before October. God heard your prayers and he had some last minute cancellations recently, and I was so happy to receive that telephone call. However, the end result was not what we wanted to hear, but I was also not surprised. It is a long story but Dr. K was not respectful of my time or the suffering that I’ve experienced. His bedside manner is not the best but he is brilliant. I was in his office for three hours and by the end was exhausted. Basically he had not reviewed any of my files and had no idea what was going on. At first he tried to say my problems might not be infection related. But when he finally realized the true facts of my condition he said that unfortunately nothing else could be done except for what we were already doing.

The root of my problem is that my bladder cannot fully empty which in turn causes chronic infections. Also, because I have a neurogenic bladder from CP, it continues to get more sluggish over time. Due to the bladder surgeries I have had earlier in life nothing else can be done surgically for this either. Therefore, I will continue to treat these infections until they can’t be treated anymore under the guidance of my infectious disease doctor and hospice. Fast forward a few weeks to now.

The week before last I felt a flare up with my bladder starting. However, because of being on antibiotics continually the test came back with a false reading. The result was negative and I was hoping it would stay away for a while but it didn’t. Days later I ended up in the ER. critically ill with a kidney infection that went sepsis so I spent a few days in the hospital. Had I not went in when I did, I would not have made it through the night. I will forever be thankful for the room full of nurses and doctors frantically working with me trying to get me in stable condition.  Praise Jesus the treatments they gave me has attacked the infection and has worked the best of any medications I have had recently. I came home now and still on some powerful antibiotics which seem to be working. Unfortunately the meds I’m on are making me extremely nauseous. The side effects are brutal and even worse because of how weak I am,  but worth if it keeps the infection under control. I have  also been referred to another ID doctor in Charlotte. I had the opportunity to Skype with him recently and was very impressed. There is no cure for my situation but he seemed hopeful about possible treatments to keep infections down for longer periods of time. My appointment with him is on August 9th so my prayer is that I can hold my own and not have to go to the hospital again before then.

Overall, my prognosis can be discouraging at times, but I am grateful to know the facts and that we are doing everything that can possibly be done to help me.. We are all on the same page with things and I am glad for that. That is what I’ve been praying for. I am a realist and like to know the truth of the matter even if it is not what I want to hear.

If I dwell on my situation too much, it can be scary with so much uncertainty for my future and health. But my hope is in Jesus and no matter what doctors say, or how bad the infection may be, God is greater than all of that. As Amy Carmichael says, “In acceptance lieth peace.” Accepting circumstances is not giving up. It is being content with Jesus wherever He has you. Acceptance brings peace.“[clickToTweet tweet=”Accepting circumstances is not giving up. It is being content with Jesus wherever He has you. Acceptance brings peace.” quote=”Accepting circumstances is not giving up. It is being content with Jesus wherever He has us. Acceptance brings peace.”]” 

God and I have had 32 years together and He has never let me down and has brought me through the fire so many times. This week God keeps bringing Lamentations 3:22-23 to mind. It states, “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” [clickToTweet tweet=”Because of God’s compassion and faithfulness , our suffering does not have to consume us because His love never fails” quote=”Because of God’s compassion and faithfulness , our suffering does not have to consume us because His love never fails”].

In the midst of hard days, God has also provided some amazing encouragement through the people in my life.  In addition to the hospice nurses and therapists, over the past few weeks I have had wonderful company from friends and family from both near and far. Not everyone in what I call my inner circle – lives nearby but my people have shown up and I have the best community of friends a girl could ask for. My favorite part of the last few weeks has been the quality time I’ve spent with friends, especially friends I don’t get to see often because of where they live.  There is nothing sweeter than visiting with best friends and loved ones.  I’m so humbled and blessed by the people God has put in my life over the years and these sweet friends of mine ( you know who you are) have been with me through thick and thin. Thanks to everyone for the visits, calls, notes, gifts, and most importantly thank you for all the prayers. I’m so grateful for the mighty group of prayer warriors who daily lift me up to the Father, and for holding me up when I’m weak. I am forever thankful to each one of you. Your prayers and support  gives me strength to press on, and a reason to hope a little more with each day that comes.. I love you all and hope you are enjoying your summer holiday. My prayer for you this weekend is that you would spend time at the feet of Jesus and find rest for your souls.

 

Leave a Comment July 21, 2017

Articles, Family, Holidays

Happy Father’s Day!

 

Happy Father’s Day to my amazing dad.

I am so thankful for my dad and the relationship we share. Over the years my dad has been there continually for me. He has never missed an event, show,  or appointment, etc that I’ve needed him to be there for. He has always shown up, especially in the last few years. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Because of my Cerebral Palsy my parents have dealt with more than most and have sacrificed their time and money to make sure I’ve had the best healthcare, medical treatments, and therapy possible. Also, in addition to those things, when I got older, they fully supported me when I wanted to work at camps every summer and allowed and encouraged me to go on as many trips as I could. They put me through college and gave me the freedom to see many different places and meet so many  people.

Instead of pulling me back, they pushed me forward even when I know it was hard for them. That is one of the best gifts they gave me as parents.

Over the years I have many wonderful memories with my dad. He has played my chauffeur many times and always drove me back and forth to college once a month, and more if I wanted to come home. Basically he drove me wherever I wanted to go wIthout making it awkward and never complained. Also, from my dad, I received my love of watching sports and one of my favorite things to do is watch football with him. Thanks, dad! 

Most importantly though my dad has always been an example of Jesus in my life, especially in the last year. I know it has not been easy seeing me suffer but he has went above and beyond in caring for me. He’s spent many sleepless nights lately at the hospital and has had to take a lot of time off of work to take me to appointments or just be with me. We have always been close but this season has caused us to be closer than ever. Dad, thanks for not only being my father but for also being my best friend.

Thank you for loving Jesus and allowing His love to lead you.

Leave a Comment June 18, 2017

Articles, Christian Living, Devotionals, Disability, Family, Friendship, Holidays

Health Update – Hope a Little More Part 3

As I lay here in my bed not able to sleep I’m thinking about how crazy things have been. The last week or so has been a whirlwind to say the least. If you have been following my journey you know that I’ve been sick for the past year but these last few weeks have taken things to a whole new level.

First, I was transferred to Hospice care, but that is a Godsend and I’m so thankful for their services. We then spent time introducing me to the program and adjusting my meds/care as needed. Unfortunately during this process I began having more pain, nausea, and my fluid retention had worsened. When the nurse examined me on Thursday we thought my system was reacting to the new medication plan so we decided to move me to Hospice House for a few days in hopes of making me more comfortable. Though in the end it was decided that going to the ER was the best choice. After some tests, Shelby transferred me to Dr. Dobson in Charlotte due to what they thought was a bowel obstruction. Although, on further observation from Dobson, it was a sluggish bowel/chronic ileus instead. My bowel, bladder, and digestive system have always been lazy due to my Cerebral Palsy and as I get older all these areas have worsened which is the cause of the majority of medical problems I am experiencing.

In the past few months I have dealt with a lot of fluid retention, but my physicians have been unsure of the cause. However, when Dr. Dobson examined my case he said my fluid was from my system being sluggish, which made things back up. For the first four days of being hospitalized I was on a no fluid/drink regiment. Thankfully, that helped things move along better and I’m now able to tolerate solids. Although I am still experiencing pain and nausea, that is something I will continue to have from time to time. I will forever have G.I. issues and these flare ups could happen more often, but all we can do is manage the symptoms in the best way possible.

I do not expect a cure all at this point but it is very discouraging to hear that nothing can be done except what we have already been doing. This comes from the doctor who is always so optimistic and a doer. When I was in the hospital for six weeks a couple of years ago he never gave a negative prognosis even when things were terminal, which means there really is “no easy fix,” for this as Dobson stated.

Thanks be to God though that resting my system for almost a week and getting iv meds and fluids have helped. Now,mmpi pray things can be maintained with the meds I have been given. I am supposed to follow up with my G.I. doctor soon to see if he has any further recommendations.

On a brighter note, God has been giving me little gems of encouragement each day. He continues to remind me that He knows and sees me. One of those occurrences happened last Thursday. In the ambulance being transported from a Shelby to Charlotte, I prayed for God to give me an understanding and compassionate nurse — specifically a nurse I knew from previous stays at CMC-Mercy named Maime. I knew that probably wouldn’t happen because I did not know if she still worked there plus this was a large hospital with many nurses/doctors. However, after arriving and taken to my room, guess who walked in to be my nurse?? Maime. Tears filled my eyes and I immediately sent thanks and praise to Jesus, and told Maime she was an answer to prayer — literally. That was the evidence my heart needed to confirm I was where I was supposed to be and that God saw and understood me in my circumstances.

During my hospital stay lots of visitors came which no matter how bad I felt brought encouragement. Just having some of my close friends and family laughing and talking around me ministered to my soul deeply. I love being around people and even though I wasn’t able to talk much on certain days or if I fell asleep while you were there (Sorry Becky…ha!)! Also, God displayed His love to me yet again through my parents. The entire time I was there, one if not both of them were with me, and one always stayed at night. Their love and sacrifice in caring for me on a daily basis is humbling and I cannot ever thank them enough. Love you mom and dad! Y’all are my favorites and I’m so glad God gave me you as parents.

Having health issues is hard, but God has surrounded me with the right medical staff at the hospital and now at home through my Hospice nurses Jodie and Jill. I have not known them for long but they have stepped in so gracefully to do what needed to be done. The month of April and the beginning of May have been extra hard because it seemed we had hit a dead end wall, but the Lord carried me through and provided the help I needed and did so in ways I did not expect.

I want to encourage you that no matter how hard life can be God will give strength you did not know you were capable of . One of my favorite verses has always been Nehemiah 8:10 which states, “Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” This is a verse that I’ve often used and heard over the years, but take forgranted its meaning. However, lately God has reminded me that no matter how bad my day is or how sick I feel, I have no reason to wallow in my grief and despair. 

Instead of grieving, we need to surrender each moment to the Lord and He will always give us the strength to face whatever is in front of us, and His joy will shine through.

That same joy is also how God allows me to “hope a little more” with each day that comes my way.

Thanks again for all of your prayers and encouragement. I will be posting more as I feel like it in the next week. I hope you all enjoy the Memorial Day weekend and that God gives you the refreshment you need.

Leave a Comment May 27, 2017

Articles, Christian Living, Devotionals, Disability, Family, Reading

Hospice…the Word I never thought I would be happy to hear…Hospice

Last week started out as any other week, but the last few days have been a whirlwind for me (So sorry for the long post that is ahead..ha!) As many of you know I have been receiving home health care and palliative to help for my chronic bladder infections. However, over time instead of getting better the infections have gotten progressively worse, and the weaker I have become. Being housebound and bedbound has been a challenge and over the last couple of months I have retained a lot of fluid –so much fluid that it makes it hard for me to move well.

When I visited my urology PA in Charlotte two weeks ago she did not do anything except keep me on the same plan the infectious disease doctor had me on. Because my bladder situation is so rare and complicated it seems we have reached the point of treating the infections until sadly they cannot be treated anymore. We have went to other physicians in the state for advice, but Dr. K in Charlotte is the most qualified for my case. Therefore, we have exhausted all other avenues for help unless Dr. K has a better solution in October, but that seems unlikely.

I have great respect for Dr. Love who is my former palliative doctor and now my General Practitioner, and her nurses Debbie and Amy. A long time ago Dr. Love and I had a discussion about Hospice and I told her to be honest and tell me if she ever thought I needed hospice care. She assured me she would, and last Wednesday following a visit from her nurses, they called and told me they thought hospice would be the best plan for me at the moment.

As mentioned earlier, over the last couple of months I have retained a large amount of fluid and have become significantly weaker. Because of this and other reasons, it would be best for me to have nurses visit me a couple times a week to moniter the fluid, the infections, and my pain. Hospice can do this in ways that palliative and home health cannot, and are able to consult with their physicians and mine to determine what needs to be done for me on a day to day basis. They are also able to take regular urine cultures, prescribe meds, and do blood work and such all at my house which is very helpful right now. It is our goal that Hospice will help me build up some strength and recuperate. I could be discharged in a couple months or stay on as long as I need them.

Whether it be a few months or years I am so thankful to have their assistance right now. It has been such a blessing. I never thought I would be glad to hear the word hospice in regards to me, but even in the short time of receiving their care, they have helped so much. They truly do desire to make the patient comfortable. I am already receiving medicine and supplies from them including a new wheelchair. My sweet nurses Jodie and Jill have been so good to work with and patiently answers all of our questions. So many (myself included), hear the word hospice and automatically think of death or end of life care. While that can be true they can also provide respite and recuperation for cases like mine. Realistically my situation could be terminal and could go in that direction at anytime. However, thankfully the current antibiotic treatment I’m on is working right now and my prayer is that different treatments will help me for a long time to come. Regardless of what I need in the future, I’m thankful to have the specific care from hospice that I have today.

My family and I have been praying for the help that I have needed, and the Lord has so graciously answered those prayers through Hospice. Even though this is the right next step for my health I will miss all my sweet nurses from Healthy at Home. Ya’ll have been in my life and home for two years and I will be forever grateful for your care. I love each of you and will greatly miss the joy and the laughter you brought my way on the bad days.

I do not know what my future holds or how much longer I will be on this earth. None of us can ever really know those details but chronic/terminal illness has a way of making you realize what is truly important in life. Lately, I have been reminded of that more than ever and it has brought me closer to Jesus.

My view these days are what I can see from the hospital bed located in my bedroom and for the longest time I thought that limited my view but with open hands and an open heart the Lord has changed my perspective and shown me how to find all the beauty and joy I need from right here. Even in these hard circumstances God has continued to show me His goodness and has challenged me to continue to have courage and wait and lean on Him. Psalm 27:13-14 says it perfectly:

“I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in  the land of the living.Wait for the Lord;
Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord.”

Thanks again for all the prayers. They mean the world and encourage me so much. This has been a hard few days because my treatment regiment for pain is being changed. Lots of pain, nauesea, and swelling but until my body is adjusted I will be having more pain than usual. Pray that the doctors and nurses continue to have wisdom to know how to make me comfortabe and that I will gain strength each day. While we are thankful for Hospice, it is still sad to know that I need their help. No one wants to need Hospice, so please pray for continued peace for my heart and mind. Stay tuned to the blog for future updates. Also, I will continue to write about my study of the book of Nehemiah throughout the summer, so be on the lookout for that!

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Wednesday!

Leave a Comment May 17, 2017

Articles, Family, Holidays

Happy Mother’s Day Weekend

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Happy Mother’s Day Weekend to all the mama’s out there. I hope you are all getting the love that you deserve! 

One of my favorite writers of old is Elizabeth Prentiss and I love her quote about mothers. When I first read this I immediately thought of my mom. She states,

“On the whole, there is nobody like one’s own mother… I wonder if, after all, mothers are not the best friends there are!”

Those words could not be more perfect for celebrating this weekend. Mom, you are my hero! Thanks for sharing the love of Jesus with me daily, and continually sacrificing your own life to love and care for mine. Jesus gave me the biggest blessing ever when He chose you to be my mom. We are knit together at the heart level with an unbreakable bond.   

The last two years, and especially this year has not been easy for us because of my sickness, but with each trial you have handled it with a grace and peace that can only come from the Lord.  To see the way you lean on Jesus in the hardest of days is such an example to me and many others. We may have not always handled things perfectly, but the desire of our family has always been to glorify God and shine for Him no matter what comes our way. You have lived that out each day with your words and actions.

Even though we not know what the future holds, and even though our struggles may not end on this earth, we can move ahead with confidence because of the hope we have in Jesus Christ and each other. As a line from our favorite song by For King and Country says,

“So let’s dance a little, laugh a little, and hope a little more.”

Thanks for being my mom, best friend, and sister in Christ. I love you more than words can say! It will always be “me and you against the world!”  

P.S. The fur babies of the family — Coco, Lucy, Anne Girl, Rowdy Girl, Tebow, and Sissy love you too! They say thank you for all the wonderful dog treats, walks, and rides you take them on. They live like Kings and Queens because of you! 

Leave a Comment May 12, 2017

Articles, Christian Living, Disability, Family, Friendship, The View Looks Fine From Here, Uncategorized

Hope a Little More Part 2

In 2014, I wrote a post titled “Hope a Little More,” and now almost three years later it seems appropriate again. I wrote that post prior to a major surgery after finding out my colon had shut down. I honestly had no idea what to expect in the future. Fast forward two years later and I am finding myself in the same boat, but instead of my colon it is now my bladder that is causing me to have so many problems. I have been on antibiotics for almost a year now continually, and my infection went sepsis a month ago, and I am now on super strong treatments over the next couple of months.

On Monday, I went to  Charlotte to see Dr. K’s (urologist) physicians assistant. Usually my time with her is not very productive and Monday’s visit was much of the same. However, she did tell me that she thought my options surgically were limited and that even if I had surgery that my quality of life from these infections  would not improve. She also mentioned two other small options for treatment but those may not work either and I would have to wait for final decisions from Dr. K. Unfortunately, I am not scheduled to see him until October and no matter how many times I have tried they will not move up the appointment date.

The conclusion for now is that nothing else can really be done except to treat the infection until it cannot be treated anymore. The PA wants me to stay on my treatment plan with the Infectious Disease doctor and do what he says until I see Dr. K in October. Even though I knew this was most likely the case going in, and is something my parents and I have discussed many times, it is still hard to hear. No matter how prepared you are, no one wants to hear that nothing else can be done.

Currently, I am on an antibiotic treatment for two more months and then we will figure out the next treatment plan after that. Hopefully the one I am on now will continue to work well for the duration of the time I am on it, but it may not. The only thing we can do is keep doing what we are doing and pray, pray, pray! The main goal right now is to keep it from going sepsis again.

I am a planner by nature and I like to have a plan and timeline, but I have no idea how long we can make the treatments work or when the infection will get bad again. I have been reminded this week more than ever that I’m not the one in charge of my life, plans, or desires, but Jesus is. He alone knows what my future holds and my trust in Him is being  pushed to another level. My  dear friend Kristin texted earlier this week and said that I was going to get to know God in a unique and new way through this. She also mentioned that this is the type of surrender and trust that can only come from a situation like this –the kind we can only get when situations are completely forced out of our hands. She is right, and even though this week has been hard, God has continued to carry and give me hope with each new day.

One passage that has comforted me lately is Psalm 27:13-14 which states,

“I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would have seen the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord;Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord.”

Moving forward I am going to find the good in each day and enjoy the little things God brings my way. I will also allow His courage to carry me, and most importantly,

I will not lose hope because of Jesus. He is HOPE, and it my privilege to serve Him all of my days.

As one of my favorite songs from “For King and Country” says,

“I will dance a little, laugh a little, and hope a little more.”

Thanks to everyone one for your continued prayers. Pray that the doctors have wisdom for future treatments and that this current round of treatment continues to work. Pray for my parents as they continue to care for me. I know it’s not easy for them!either so please pray for their encouragement. Also, pray that that we have peace beyond our understanding no matter the outcome, and that we are able to “hope a little more” each day. Thanks so much.

Leave a Comment May 5, 2017

Articles, Disability, Family, The View Looks Fine From Here

The View Looks Fine From Here – Monday Happenings

 

Wow! I cannot believe it is May 1 already! Spring is flying by and soon we will be in the middle of summer. I am enjoying this weather though, and am looking forward to time in the pool when summer comes.

I hope you all had a lovely weekend. Mine was okay. The massive amounts of antibiotic treatments I take each day are wiping me out. I have not been sleeping well, but the past few nights I’ve been able to rest better — praise Jesus! The status of my health is steady. I’m still not feeling well and am extremely weak, but these antibiotics are keeping the infection from getting worse so I am thankful for that.

My weekend has been very relaxing. Along with sleep, I was finally able to finish some audiobooks that I had been listening to. On days where I feel the worst it is hard for me to read so audiobooks are now my favorite. Some of the ones I have recently finished are:

Cape Refuge by Terri Blackstock,

This Life I live by Rory Feek,

Murphy’s Law by Rhys Bowen,

Chloe by Lyn Cote

These are great reads and if you haven’t done so already, you should check them out. I will try to post some reviews soon.

The bright spot of my weekend was the weekly visit from my aunt Ellen and her granddaughter Lexi. Lexi is just like a niece to me and I love the bond that we share. We have so much fun together, and Lexi and Mimi time always makes me feel better. 

This morning I have an appointment with a nurse practitioner at my urology office in Charlotte. Every time I have seen my urologist in the past, I am required to see his nurse practitioner first. However, nothing is ever accomplished at these visits. Basically the purpose of this appointment is for paperwork and logistics. Kim (the NP) usually very briefly discusses my case and then tells me I will have to wait and see what Dr. Kinnelly says at the next appointment.  The sad part is that I do not have an appointment scheduled with him until October. I am on a cancellation wait list though, and keep praying for an earlier spot to open up. I have no expectations for today’s visit, but in order for me to keep my appointment in October, I have to go to this one. I have been told over and over that I will not get to see Dr. K until October no matter what. Although, God is a God of the impossible so we shall see.

Sometimes I do not understand the world of medicine, especially the way Dr. K’s practice works. Although, even though they have not been urologists, I am thankful for the good medical staff God has put in my path over the last several months. It has not been easy but the Lord continues to protect and carry me through. Thanks to each of you for your continued prayers, encouraging notes, calls, and texts. Your support means the world to me!

“I thank God every time I remember you.” ~ Philippians 1:3

Leave a Comment May 1, 2017

Articles, Christian Living, Devotionals, Family, Friendship, The View Looks Fine From Here

Thursday Praises!

Hello friends. I have had a busier week than normal for me the past few days and even though I’m exhausted and weak, I have a thankful heart.

I had a wonderful Easter with family and have been strong enough to be out of bed for small amounts of time this week. I still have a long road ahead but I’m thankful for a treatment plan that is working more than the others have, and for friends and family who make my days easier. Today I had a visit from one of my best friends Casey and her adorable son Malakai. We have not got to see each other much lately but I’m so glad today worked out. I was also able to talk with another close friend Erin which always encourages my soul. Sweet kiddos and good conversations with friends always makes me feel better.

One of my favorite Bible passages is found in 1 Thessalonians 3:16-18. It states,

“Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 

My mind keeps coming back to the last verse where it mentions “in everything give thanks.” That does not mean for when things are going the way we planned or when we consider life is good. No, it truly means in all things. With Easter being this past weekend, I was reminded once again of the beauty and truth of the Gospel. Even though my life is hard and some days I don’t see outside my bedroom, God is still good and He is flooding my heart with things I have to be thankful for. So today I praise Him for a little progress and the simple things that have brought joy today. Earlier as I was thinking on these things, peace came over me and my perspective got a little brighter. Being thankful can make your day better even if circumstances do not change. Spend some time thinking over your week and thank God for the things He has blessed you with.

Fill your heart and mind with thanksgiving and joy you did not think was possible will come.

Sweet Malakai

Leave a Comment April 20, 2017

Articles, Christian Living, Disability, Family

🌷Health Update🌷

Happy Friday friends! I have been quiet on the blog front lately, and wanted to write an update.

I can’t believe spring is already around the corner. As I think of spring I pray for fresh ideas and new beginnings. With those, also come prayers for my health. The past few weeks have been especially hard dealing with lots of pain and nausea from these bladder infections. I have pretty much been completely home and bed bound. However, the lord has been extremely gracious on the heard days reminding me of different reasons to have joy. One Bible verse that keeps coming to my mind recently is Nehemiah 8:10. It states,

“This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”

One of my favorite books of the Bible is Nehemiah, and as I have been reading through it recently, I have been reminded of what a Godly example Nehemiah is to my current circumstances. Nehemiah was faced with much adversity, but with the help of the Lord, he did not let that stop him from being obedient to the Lord’s calling. Nehemiah faced a great deal of sadness, but he immediately took his worries and cares to the Father crying out for his help and deliverance. Even though times were tough, God gave Nehemiah the strength he needed to press on, and proved that joy is not dependent upon circumstances. I am grateful for the nuggets of wisdom God has given me while studying this book, and one of those is prayer.

Just like Nehemiah, I am facing a season of adversity. While in my flesh I may feel like complaining to those around me and having a pity party, the first place I should take every thought and problem in my life is directly to the throne of the Almighty. Even though at times it is tempting, there is no need to discuss and cry out to everyone else instead of the Lord. He asks that we come to Him first and foremost for everything that we need. Nehemiah practiced this in his day to day life, and God never let a Him down. Jesus delights in us and desires to be the lover of our souls. He wants us to pray and depend on Him for our every need. Communion with God, and the power of prayer allows the impossible to be possible. That being said, I am asking each of you to be prayer warriors on my behalf.

On Monday, February 27, I have an appointment with a urology specialist in Winston Salem at Wake Forest Baptist with a physician named Dr. Badlani. I have no idea what to expect with this visit. However, I am hopeful that it would be helpful, and praying that it is not another dead end. Would you cover me in prayer throughout this weekend and all day on Monday? My appointment is Monday at 11:30am, and I would greatly appreciate it if you would pray for me that day. Some specific prayer requests would be:

– That this appointment would not be another dead end, and that Dr. Badlani would be knowledgeable regarding my situation.

-Pray for Dr. Badlani to give us advice on what to expect in the future regarding these infections and treatment plans. Pray that he looks at the big picture of the past two years, and listens to what we have to say. We realize that he is not going to be able to provide the perfect solution, and that there is no easy fix to my problems. However, we want him to be willing to try to help and come alongside my other physicians when necessary.

-Pray that he recognizes how sick I have been and that God gives him the wisdom and knowledge to know the next steps he needs to take to provide me with relief.

-Pray for our travel to and from Winston Salem. While it is not too far away, the trip is going to be difficult for me because I’m so weak. We are driving down on Sunday and staying at a hotel that evening so I don’t have to make the trip all in one day. Pray that my pain would be minimal and that I am able to rest comfortably in the hotel. Pray for my mom as well as she will be driving and caring for me, and that God gives her the strength and energy she needs.

Thanks so much for praying dear friends. Your prayers mean more to me than you will ever know.
Also, Thank you for your continued notes of encouragement. Please know that they bring so much cheer to my days. Even if I’m not always able to respond right away, I read each one, and they always come at just the right time.

I will definitely update you on how the appointment goes. I may not post an update on Monday because it is going to be a crazy day. However, even though you won’t hear from me then, I will definitely post as soon as I can. I am planning to start an audio blog soon to share updates with you as well as devotions and what God is teaching me. Be on the lookout for that.

Thanks for standing with me during this season. I love and am so thankful for all of you.

Leave a Comment February 24, 2017

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Enjoyed spending some time earlier today with my d Enjoyed spending some time earlier today with my dear friend @beckyabernier. So thankful for her friendship and her visit always encourages my soul! #friendship #joyinthelord #goodfriday
Amen! Love this quote from Lottie Moon! Amen! Love this quote from Lottie Moon!
The view looks fine from here. Enjoying sitting ou The view looks fine from here. Enjoying sitting outside for a bit. #thankful #saturdays #happyplace
Been watching royal baby coverage. I just can’t Been watching royal baby coverage. I just can’t help it ha! Welcome to the world the new royal baby! 💙 #royalfamily #british
I am so excited for my dear friends @nataliesosmar I am so excited for my dear friends @nataliesosmart and @jantzenmc on the upcoming birth of their sweet baby girl. Their announcement is below. Congrats! Love yall can cannot wait to meet Jubilee Amelia. I am so honored. Praising God for this joyful season of your life. //
"Name drop for our girl. Also her middle name Amelia comes from our sweet friend @ameliamcneilly who is a Godly friend that faithfully prayed for her. Also we love this sign from Gloriously Restored. #carolinajubilee"
Received this beautiful quilt today made and given Received this beautiful quilt today made and given to me by my sweet friend Joy (@themakingsofjoy). This blessed and encouraged my soul greatly today. Brought tears to my eyes. Thanks again my friend! Love you! Be sure to check out her other quilts and gorgeous designs on Etsy and Instagram. #themakingsofjoy #happymail #encouragement #friendship
Needed this reminder and truth from Scripture toda Needed this reminder and truth from Scripture today!
Lucy loves having our friends Jessie and Zeke visi Lucy loves having our friends Jessie and Zeke visiting this morning, especially Zeke. Ha!
Amen #daringtohopebook Amen #daringtohopebook
Received this call in the mail today from the swee Received this call in the mail today from the sweetest kiddos. I love it and it made my day! So sweet and thoughtful. 💕😍💕
My dear and sweet friend Josie who I met at CIU (w My dear and sweet friend Josie who I met at CIU (walker 1 Girls) came to visit with her daughter Lydia. They are on a road trip from Ohio and I’m grateful they came by for the afternoon. It was good for my soul. #thankful #friendship #encouragement 💕💕💕
I’m not the only one in my happy place. I love m I’m not the only one in my happy place. I love my Sissy girl 💕🐕💕 #happy #dogsofinstgram #sissy
I love my Sissy Girl! 💕🐕 I love my Sissy Girl! 💕🐕
Happy Wednesday! So thankful for this Scripture an Happy Wednesday! So thankful for this Scripture and the anchor I have in Christ no matter what my circumstances are. He is my hope! ⚓️
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