2014 has been an incredibly hard year. Depressing way to start a post I know, but it is true. Over the past several years my health has been steadily declining, but for a long time I was not sure why. However, in October, I received some answers. Because of my Cerebral Palsy, I have always had something called Neurogenic Bowel Syndrome, but found out recently that my colon and intestines have completely shut down which is why I am staying so sick. My situation is not the norm due to previous surgeries I’ve had which make things a bit more complicated, and it took a while to find a specialist qualified to treat my case. God finally provided a surgeon and after many appointments and tests, I am now awaiting a surgery date which I hope will be sometime at the beginning of January. There are lots of other issues alongside this that I will not go into here, but God knows all of the details.
This year has been rough but in the midst of it I have grown closer to the Lord and I better understand the passage in Philippians 4 that says He will give you peace beyond your understanding. I know that peace now. Before we found this surgeon several of my doctors told us nothing else could be done and left my family thinking that this was it. Also, I’ve had to move in with my parents until I am better, take a leave of absence from my job, and basically become completely dependent; which if you know me at all you know that has not been easy. Throughout the years I have had many health challenges but I would say this has been the hardest. It’s emptied me of everything I have but God is daily giving me the strength I need to make it and that has been freeing. I am completely out of control and there is nothing I can do to change my circumstances but I know the One who can. There are so many unknowns as to what is ahead and questions such as, “Will the surgery be successful? Will healing come soon? How is all this going to turn out?” I do not have the answers but God does and that is all that matters. After all, my life is not mine and there is nothing more freeing than turning my life and everything I have over to Jesus. That is the definition of true freedom. One of my goals for 2015 is to live in this freedom and be joyful no matter what the circumstances. I am thankful daily for the hope of Christ, and as one of my favorite songs states, I will “dance a little, laugh a little, and hope a little more.”
I would like to give a special thanks to my mom and dad. They have been amazing through this and take such good care of me. I couldn’t do this without them. Also, to all my friends thanks for being so gracious and encouraging. I know many of you have prayed for me over the past few months, and I greatly appreciate all the prayers you have sent my way. Please continue to pray as I move forward and that I get a surgery date soon. Thanks so much and please let me know how I can be praying for you. I hope you all have a blessed new year and a wonderful 2015!