On Friday (tomorrow), I go in for another surgery on my small bowel. Because of my previous surgeries, there could be a lot of risks involved with this. However, I am praying that all goes well and this will improve my quality of life. The past few months and especially the last few weeks have been extremely hard health-wise. I have spent a lot of time in bed with a lot of pain, but in the midst of all of the hard God has been incredibly gracious. He has blessed me with two wonderful parents who love and care for me so well. I know it is not always easy for them but they show Jesus to me everyday in their care of me. God has also blessed me with an amazing group of friends who daily encourage me in different ways, and are continually praying for me.
It is so much easier going through the hard seasons when you have a solid group of people alongside you. I thank God daily for the community He has given me. Most importantly though, I thank God for the relationship I have with Jesus Christ.
Without Jesus, I would be living as a lady with no hope. Without Jesus, I would be scared out of my mind right now (I am nervous, but I would be even more so without the Lord), and without Jesus, I would be bitter. But Jesus still gives me LIFE and HOPE even on the most dreary days.
When my body is tired and overwhelmed, and I am not knowing how to pray the Lord knows. He understands, and is giving me the nudge I need to carry on. At times it may seem that the Lord is completely absent but He is not. He is always there loving and leading. The Lord knows me better than anybody and loves me more than anyone ever could so why do I doubt Him? Why do I fear? He has proven faithful over the course of my 31 years, and He will continue to do so.
Over the weekend, I let thoughts of fear and worry creep in my mind. They brought along misery, sadness, anger, and doubt. During those moments the Lord gently reminded me that since I have Him, I should have no fear. This verse came to mind from Isaiah 41:10 –
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
This truth from Scripture reminded me that I have no reason to worry. God wants to know that I trust Him and will surrender my everything to Him even if I don’t know what the future holds.
My act of obedience during this season is trusting the Lord and fearing Him instead of fearing my circumstances.
As Friday nears I am focusing on fearing God and trusting Him to carry me through. As one of my favorite songs says, “leave it in the hands of the Healer and walk away.”
Surrender your fears to Him today and His peace will rule in your heart more than you could ever imagine.
Thank you to all who have prayed for me. Your prayers are being felt, and are greatly encouraging. My friend Erin will be updating via email. If you would like to receive these updates join the Google Group here, or send me a message.
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