Day 3 – Cleaning Up the Stereotypes

Stereotypes are something that have always been and always will be in existence.  However, that does not make them less annoying and less hurtful.  No one is perfect and I think if honest, we have all been guilty of giving stereotypes to someone or something whether it be intentional or unintentional.

As someone who has been a victim of stereotyping, I try to look at people for who they really are and not judging them for who I think they are.  I have a disability called Cerebral Palsy, and because of that I walk with arm-crutches.  Over the years I have received special and somewhat degrading treatment because of this. There is usually not a day that goes by when out in public that I do not receive “the look,” or special treatment from someone. After dealing with this for thirty years I have grown not to pay it attention, but nevertheless it is still there.  When I refer to “the look” I am talking about the gaze or stare that I receive from another person which usually displays pity.

I realize that the people giving these looks do not mean any harm but they are just not sure how to respond.

A recent example of this happened last weekend. I went out with my mom to the movies and to do some shopping. While shopping I used a wheelchair because since the surgery my energy is not what it used to be. However, all through the day I just kept noticing “the looks.” It was stare after stare and after a while one just wonders — “okay seriously, have you people never seen a wheelchair before?” “Do I have something on my face or in my hair?” (Note, that I am being a bit funny here but seriously it can be a frustration).

I used to travel frequently for my job, and a lot of times at the airport the easiest way for me to get assistance was to use a wheelchair.  On my last flight, during the security process, the officers treated me different and did not listen to anything I had to say. Instead, they spoke to my friend and told her to tell me certain things.  That was when my friend and I both spoke up insisting that I could speak for myself and that I had a mind of my own.  Just because one uses crutches or a wheelchair for assistance does not mean they are less independent or successful than other people.  It also does not indicate that a person has a mental disability along with the physical one, even though that is a common misconception.  Some people can look past it and others cannot.  I had someone tell me once that he thought disabled people wanted pity to which I responded, “no we just want normal treatment.”

I am fortunate that I have friends and family who love, support, and encourage me, and I learned a long time ago not to let these stereotypes of me define who I am. Jesus Christ defines me and I am so thankful for His love and grace.

I know I am not the only person struggling with stereotypes today and I want to encourage you not to let stereotypes and “crappy” treatment or thoughts from others define you. You are worth way more than that!

Everyone has a disability, some are just more visible than others. I want to challenge everyone this week to look past appearances and stereotypes and treat others the way you would want to be treated.