As I lay here in my bed not able to sleep I’m thinking about how crazy things have been. The last week or so has been a whirlwind to say the least. If you have been following my journey you know that I’ve been sick for the past year but these last few weeks have taken things to a whole new level.

First, I was transferred to Hospice care, but that is a Godsend and I’m so thankful for their services. We then spent time introducing me to the program and adjusting my meds/care as needed. Unfortunately during this process I began having more pain, nausea, and my fluid retention had worsened. When the nurse examined me on Thursday we thought my system was reacting to the new medication plan so we decided to move me to Hospice House for a few days in hopes of making me more comfortable. Though in the end it was decided that going to the ER was the best choice. After some tests, Shelby transferred me to Dr. Dobson in Charlotte due to what they thought was a bowel obstruction. Although, on further observation from Dobson, it was a sluggish bowel/chronic ileus instead. My bowel, bladder, and digestive system have always been lazy due to my Cerebral Palsy and as I get older all these areas have worsened which is the cause of the majority of medical problems I am experiencing.

In the past few months I have dealt with a lot of fluid retention, but my physicians have been unsure of the cause. However, when Dr. Dobson examined my case he said my fluid was from my system being sluggish, which made things back up. For the first four days of being hospitalized I was on a no fluid/drink regiment. Thankfully, that helped things move along better and I’m now able to tolerate solids. Although I am still experiencing pain and nausea, that is something I will continue to have from time to time. I will forever have G.I. issues and these flare ups could happen more often, but all we can do is manage the symptoms in the best way possible.

I do not expect a cure all at this point but it is very discouraging to hear that nothing can be done except what we have already been doing. This comes from the doctor who is always so optimistic and a doer. When I was in the hospital for six weeks a couple of years ago he never gave a negative prognosis even when things were terminal, which means there really is “no easy fix,” for this as Dobson stated.

Thanks be to God though that resting my system for almost a week and getting iv meds and fluids have helped. Now,mmpi pray things can be maintained with the meds I have been given. I am supposed to follow up with my G.I. doctor soon to see if he has any further recommendations.

On a brighter note, God has been giving me little gems of encouragement each day. He continues to remind me that He knows and sees me. One of those occurrences happened last Thursday. In the ambulance being transported from a Shelby to Charlotte, I prayed for God to give me an understanding and compassionate nurse — specifically a nurse I knew from previous stays at CMC-Mercy named Maime. I knew that probably wouldn’t happen because I did not know if she still worked there plus this was a large hospital with many nurses/doctors. However, after arriving and taken to my room, guess who walked in to be my nurse?? Maime. Tears filled my eyes and I immediately sent thanks and praise to Jesus, and told Maime she was an answer to prayer — literally. That was the evidence my heart needed to confirm I was where I was supposed to be and that God saw and understood me in my circumstances.

During my hospital stay lots of visitors came which no matter how bad I felt brought encouragement. Just having some of my close friends and family laughing and talking around me ministered to my soul deeply. I love being around people and even though I wasn’t able to talk much on certain days or if I fell asleep while you were there (Sorry Becky…ha!)! Also, God displayed His love to me yet again through my parents. The entire time I was there, one if not both of them were with me, and one always stayed at night. Their love and sacrifice in caring for me on a daily basis is humbling and I cannot ever thank them enough. Love you mom and dad! Y’all are my favorites and I’m so glad God gave me you as parents.

Having health issues is hard, but God has surrounded me with the right medical staff at the hospital and now at home through my Hospice nurses Jodie and Jill. I have not known them for long but they have stepped in so gracefully to do what needed to be done. The month of April and the beginning of May have been extra hard because it seemed we had hit a dead end wall, but the Lord carried me through and provided the help I needed and did so in ways I did not expect.

I want to encourage you that no matter how hard life can be God will give strength you did not know you were capable of . One of my favorite verses has always been Nehemiah 8:10 which states, “Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” This is a verse that I’ve often used and heard over the years, but take forgranted its meaning. However, lately God has reminded me that no matter how bad my day is or how sick I feel, I have no reason to wallow in my grief and despair. 

Instead of grieving, we need to surrender each moment to the Lord and He will always give us the strength to face whatever is in front of us, and His joy will shine through.

That same joy is also how God allows me to “hope a little more” with each day that comes my way.

Thanks again for all of your prayers and encouragement. I will be posting more as I feel like it in the next week. I hope you all enjoy the Memorial Day weekend and that God gives you the refreshment you need.