2015 has been quite the journey for me thus far. I turned 30 this year and I joked with someone the other day that I want a 30 do-over and that I hope 31 is kinder to my health.  Although, since my last surgery in February, I have made some wonderful progress, and over the last couple of weeks I have started getting out and doing more activities. I even made it to church and that was a huge blessing because I have not been physically able to go in so long. I realize these things are not major for most people, but for me they are. That being said, I have definitely been feeling hopeful about the days to come.  However, since this last surgery, I have been having problems with my bladder. I have had bladder issues for years and have had multiple surgeries for it. Over the last few years things have been under control  — until now. To make a really long story short,  I have bladder problems from Cerebral Palsy, and had bladder surgery when I was in 7th grade where the surgeon completely rebuilt my bladder. But in recent tests we have found that my bladder has majorly shrunk in size which is the reason for the issues I am having. Unfortunately, we believe my colon surgery as well as treatments and extended time in the hospital are probably the causes of this. At this point the treatment for my situation consists of two things: Botox in my bladder and eventually another major bladder surgery where my bladder will be removed. Depending on how the Botox works this surgery could occur one or three years from now. As you can imagine, this was not the news I was hoping to hear and in the moment I asked God, “What are you doing? I don’t even begin to understand this. Can my body undergo yet another major surgery and be okay? What about my hopes, dreams, and when can I get back to life as normal? ”

But after much prayer, God reminded me not to worry about tomorrow and focus only on things of today as He commands in Matthew 6:34. He has given me so much to be thankful for. He is continually restoring and giving me life. Yes, I may have major bladder surgery in my future, and it may come sooner than I would like, but if and when that occurs God will be with me like He always has. I am not being obedient to God and His Word by worrying about the what-ifs and creating scenarios of what might happen in my mind. That is me giving into my fears instead of turning them over to Christ. Why is it that we make things harder on ourselves than they have to be instead of letting the peace of Christ rule in our hearts? I want to encourage you today that no matter what your worries, fears, or circumstances are Christ is strong enough to take care of them all. Give them over to Him, and let His strength carry you.

I believe greatly in the power of prayer and I know prayer is one of the main reasons I am here today. Tomorrow morning (Tuesday) I have to go into the hospital for a small procedure to have botox put in my bladder. Please pray that all goes well with that, and most importantly pray that the botox works. If it works well then it could be 2-3 years before the major surgery so please pray this brings some much needed relief. Also, pray for healing of my bladder to where surgery could not be needed down the road.  I would love to pray for you as well so please let me know how I can be lifting you up. Thanks for your continued prayers and encouragement. I hope your Monday is going well.

Photo taken by my friend Sara Rettig.