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31 Days, Articles, Devotionals, Disability

Day 4 – His Grace is Sufficient

So you know how you have ideas of how a day or a week is going to go and then everything falls apart and nothing goes how you imagined. Well, that is what happened to me this week. On Tuesday, I was all excited about the rest of the week because I was going to wake up early every day and have a nice long quiet time, then get lots of writing done. Guess what? It went nothing like that. When you have health problems sometimes they override the best intentioned of plans.

Tuesday morning started out so insane. First, I overslept. Then I get up and had a major disaster with my ileostomy bag that resulted in literally a bunch of crap to clean up. This little episode took a while. Then I dropped my phone and ruined my phone case. Thankfully, the phone survived the drama, but a new phone case, preferably an OtterBox will be on order soon. And all of this happened BEFORE I had my coffee. That tells you how the rest of the day went. Wednesday morning at 3:00am I woke up having severe bladder spasms and had issues all day that caused me to have to take medicine and stay in bed. As a result, I had to cancel appointments and the plans I had made for the day. I apologize to those of you I have frequently cancelled with due to health issues. Your grace is always much appreciated.

Thursday was the same type of day, and my mom and I were leaving to go out of town on Friday. Naturally, I was a bit frustrated and overwhelmed as to how all was going to get done and how my health would hold up. However, that is when the Lord so sweetly reminded me of truth from His word in 2 Corinthians 12:9 which states, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” Everything maybe didn’t get done the way I had planned but things were still okay in the end, and God reminded me that instead of getting upset to rest in His amazing grace. He has control of everything and in my weaknesses He is strong.

So whatever you are struggling with today, or if you feel overwhelmed with the task in front of you, take a moment to stop and pray. Rest in the grace and strength that God so freely gives to anyone who asks and that will give you a whole new perspective.

31 Days, Articles, Disability, Family, Friendship

Day 3 – Cleaning Up the Stereotypes

Stereotypes are something that have always been and always will be in existence. However, that does not make them less annoying and less hurtful. No one is perfect and I think if honest, we have all been guilty of giving stereotypes to someone or something whether it be intentional or unintentional.

As someone who has been a victim of stereotyping, I try to look at people for who they really are and not judging them for who I think they are. I have a disability called Cerebral Palsy, and because of that I walk with arm-crutches. Over the years I have received special and somewhat degrading treatment because of this. There is usually not a day that goes by when out in public that I do not receive “the look,” or special treatment from someone. After dealing with this for thirty years I have grown not to pay it attention, but nevertheless it is still there. When I refer to “the look” I am talking about the gaze or stare that I receive from another person which usually displays pity.

I realize that the people giving these looks do not mean any harm but they are just not sure how to respond.

A recent example of this happened last weekend. I went out with my mom to the movies and to do some shopping. While shopping I used a wheelchair because since the surgery my energy is not what it used to be. However, all through the day I just kept noticing “the looks.” It was stare after stare and after a while one just wonders — “okay seriously, have you people never seen a wheelchair before?” “Do I have something on my face or in my hair?” (Note, that I am being a bit funny here but seriously it can be a frustration).

I used to travel frequently for my job, and a lot of times at the airport the easiest way for me to get assistance was to use a wheelchair. On my last flight, during the security process, the officers treated me different and did not listen to anything I had to say. Instead, they spoke to my friend and told her to tell me certain things. That was when my friend and I both spoke up insisting that I could speak for myself and that I had a mind of my own. Just because one uses crutches or a wheelchair for assistance does not mean they are less independent or successful than other people. It also does not indicate that a person has a mental disability along with the physical one, even though that is a common misconception. Some people can look past it and others cannot. I had someone tell me once that he thought disabled people wanted pity to which I responded, “no we just want normal treatment.”

I am fortunate that I have friends and family who love, support, and encourage me, and I learned a long time ago not to let these stereotypes of me define who I am. Jesus Christ defines me and I am so thankful for His love and grace.

I know I am not the only person struggling with stereotypes today and I want to encourage you not to let stereotypes and “crappy” treatment or thoughts from others define you. You are worth way more than that!

Everyone has a disability, some are just more visible than others. I want to challenge everyone this week to look past appearances and stereotypes and treat others the way you would want to be treated.

31 Days, Articles, Disability, Friendship

Day 2 – Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,I know that full well.” ~Psalm 139:14

Psalm 139:14 states that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. However, if we are honest, somedays I know that we don’t feel that way, or at least I do not. And that has been my sentiment as of late. Since my surgery, I have had issues with my weight and retaining fluid. One day my weight is up and another it is down. My hair has also not recovered from the trauma of all I have gone through and on certain days, “bad hair day” does not even begin to describe the state my hair is in. Even my lovely mother who is a hair-dresser has no clue what to do with it. I know I am in a hot mess on the days not even my mom can work miracles. Ha.

Also, there is the issue of “the bag.” I have an illeostomy bag due to my colon being removed, and do not worry, I will spare you most of the details. However, this bag causes disasters from time to time and it has caused a major upset to my clothes closet. A lot of my clothes do not work anymore because of this, or rather, they don’t look the same. The first day I got ready to go somewhere post-op and post hospital I had a meltdown in my closet and yelled out, “I have absolutely no clothes to wear!!” Many would think I was exaggerating but it was true. Well, mostly true! 😉

Although, once I calmed down, I realized that this just gives me an excuse to shop and what girl doesn’t like the thought of that. It also helps when your best friend’s family owns the cutest clothing boutiques (MimiBella – check them out. They are awesome), and who immediately drops what she is doing to help me find me some new clothes. That is a true friend right there. Love you, Sara!

Seriously though, I know that all women have days where we do not feel beautiful enough, and go through seasons where we feel nothing is right — which takes me back to Psalm 139:14. It is true, even when we do not “feel” like it, that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.”

There is nothing about our bodies or health that God has not created or does not understand. We are made in His glorious image, and because of that we are beautiful.

It is because of that truth, that I am able to get up every day and move forward with confidence even in the midst of major changes to my life physically, emotionally, and spiritually. In the midst of all my “crap,” God is here and He is giving me the strength to carry on. And dear sisters, He will give you the strength to do the same so let that be encouragement to you today.

31 Days, Articles

31 Days of Cleaning Up My Crap

Throughout the month of October I will be doing 31 Days of writing.

The Nester started this many years ago, and have encouraged others to do the same. The way it works is each blogger picks a theme and writes about that subject each day throughout the month. I have decided to join in and my theme will be “31 Days of Cleaning Up My Crap.” Now I know many of you are probably thinking, “What in the world?” Haha. However, life can be hard, messy, and if we are honest some days just plain crappy.

These past nine months of my life have been the hardest I have ever had to experience. Since having my colon removed I have had to deal with more crap than I could ever have imagined both literally and metaphorically. Although, in the hard there has been plenty of grace and laughter and I hope to share a bit of my journey with you. And in the process, hopefully offer you some solace in the midst of the “crap” you may be facing.

To view all the posts in this series visit here.

Articles, Blog Fun

New Blog Series – October 1

Hey friends! I am so excited about my new blog series starting October 1!! Be sure to check back tomorrow for more details!

Articles, Sports

Today is the Day for Football

Today is the day, folks! Football officially starts for my favorite team, the Gamecocks! Tonight at Bank of America Stadium in Charlotte, the South Carolina Gamecocks play against the North Carolina Tarheels. Yes, I know what many of you are thinking, why is the North Carolina girl rooting for a South Carolina team? Well, I went to college in South Carolina and while I was there gave my heart to USC, so there you have it! Go Gamecocks!

Also, on Saturday I will enjoy watching some of the other college teams play. Fun football times ahead and I love it. Who will you be rooting for this weekend?

Articles, Disability

Thanks For The Prayers

Hi sweet friends. Thank you for all the prayers and encouraging words regarding my procedure yesterday. All went well, and no complications other than an allergic reaction to an antibiotic, but that was not major. I will not know if the botox is working for about two weeks. Then at the beginning of October I will visit with my urologist again and he will do in-depth tests on my bladder to see if it has made progress with the botox, and after that we will know how we should proceed. Please pray that the botox works and that it will help bring healing and relief to my bladder. Thanks again for all the prayers. I hope you all have a wonderful Wednesday.

Articles, Christian Living, Family

It’s Simply Tuesday

For most, Tuesday is just another day of the week. Boring. Uneventful. But it is yet another day to be grateful. This morning I go into the hospital for a very small procedure which is not very fun. However, in the midst of the mundane and hard there is joy to be found, and things continually to be grateful for.

This past weekend my family and I spent the day on Lake Norman. We went on a lunch cruise around the lake and then met up with some friends who have a place there and spent the afternoon with them. It was such a wonderful family day and brought much joy to my heart. Also, being out and about again gave me glimmers of hope that my body is indeed continuing to heal. I praise the Lord for that. Sometimes its the simplest things that bring the most joy. I am so thankful for the family God has blessed me with and the time God has allowed us to spend together, and that they walk with me through the good and the bad. On this Tuesday, what are the joys of your day? Trust me, they are there, so take time to look for the joys God has given you today and be thankful.

Articles, Christian Living, Disability

Health Update

2015 has been quite the journey for me thus far. I turned 30 this year and I joked with someone the other day that I want a 30 do-over and that I hope 31 is kinder to my health. Although, since my last surgery in February, I have made some wonderful progress, and over the last couple of weeks I have started getting out and doing more activities. I even made it to church and that was a huge blessing because I have not been physically able to go in so long. I realize these things are not major for most people, but for me they are. That being said, I have definitely been feeling hopeful about the days to come. However, since this last surgery, I have been having problems with my bladder. I have had bladder issues for years and have had multiple surgeries for it. Over the last few years things have been under control — until now. To make a really long story short, I have bladder problems from Cerebral Palsy, and had bladder surgery when I was in 7th grade where the surgeon completely rebuilt my bladder. But in recent tests we have found that my bladder has majorly shrunk in size which is the reason for the issues I am having. Unfortunately, we believe my colon surgery as well as treatments and extended time in the hospital are probably the causes of this. At this point the treatment for my situation consists of two things: Botox in my bladder and eventually another major bladder surgery where my bladder will be removed. Depending on how the Botox works this surgery could occur one or three years from now. As you can imagine, this was not the news I was hoping to hear and in the moment I asked God, “What are you doing? I don’t even begin to understand this. Can my body undergo yet another major surgery and be okay? What about my hopes, dreams, and when can I get back to life as normal? ”

But after much prayer, God reminded me not to worry about tomorrow and focus only on things of today as He commands in Matthew 6:34. He has given me so much to be thankful for. He is continually restoring and giving me life. Yes, I may have major bladder surgery in my future, and it may come sooner than I would like, but if and when that occurs God will be with me like He always has. I am not being obedient to God and His Word by worrying about the what-ifs and creating scenarios of what might happen in my mind. That is me giving into my fears instead of turning them over to Christ. Why is it that we make things harder on ourselves than they have to be instead of letting the peace of Christ rule in our hearts? I want to encourage you today that no matter what your worries, fears, or circumstances are Christ is strong enough to take care of them all. Give them over to Him, and let His strength carry you.

I believe greatly in the power of prayer and I know prayer is one of the main reasons I am here today. Tomorrow morning (Tuesday) I have to go into the hospital for a small procedure to have botox put in my bladder. Please pray that all goes well with that, and most importantly pray that the botox works. If it works well then it could be 2-3 years before the major surgery so please pray this brings some much needed relief. Also, pray for healing of my bladder to where surgery could not be needed down the road. I would love to pray for you as well so please let me know how I can be lifting you up. Thanks for your continued prayers and encouragement. I hope your Monday is going well.

Photo taken by my friend Sara Rettig.

Articles, Friendship, Music, Uncategorized

God is Faithful

Happy Friday, friends. Yesterday, I posted about gratitude, and last night I was reminded yet again about how much I have to be thankful for. I have been home bound for the last year or so due to health problems and about six months ago, I honestly did not think I would live to see another day. But here I am, and I am so thankful. Around a month ago, I remembered that one of my favorite artists, Laura Story, was going to be performing at The Billy Graham Training Center at The Cove. I knew that if I could physically make it I wanted to be there. However, when I called to order tickets I was told they were sold out but would be put on a waiting list. I was bummed, but did not think much more about it until Monday when I got a call saying they had two tickets available if I wanted them. I purchased them, and prayed all week that my body would cooperate so I would feel like going. God was gracious and gave me the strength to go, and I am so glad He did. It was a night focused on worshipping the Savior and was a great reminder to my soul of God’s faithfulness. God is restoring my life and even in the hard continues to prove Himself faithful to me every single day. His power is unfathomable and His mercy is unending. He loves and listens to even the smallest desires of my heart, and knows my love language better than any person ever could. I think sometimes we get so caught up in the big picture that we lose sight of the little gifts God gives us.So as I head into this weekend my mind is focused on the goodness and majesty of the God I serve, and am grateful for the progress He has made in my journey. Jesus truly has done the miraculous in my life so instead of getting worried and stressed about the future of my health and life, I am going to focus on the good of today. His power is truly sufficient in my weakness, and is also sufficient for whatever you may be going through as well. Take some time to seek His face and don’t miss out on thanking him for the little blessings He has brought your way. He is and will always prove to be faithful.

Pictured above is the beautiful view from the cove, and me with my dear friend Natalie. So thankful for her friendship and the encouragement she brings to my life.