Below is a post from one of my dear friends from my college days at CIU. I know her words will encourage and inspire you as they have me.

Dying to Live
By Erin Elizabeth Austin

I’ve become fairly adept at dying. After living with three different chronic illnesses for the past fifteen years, I’ve nearly died on five separate occasions. You could say it’s become a way of life.
Now I don’t want to give the impression that I’ve always handled being handed a death sentence by a doctor in a graceful manner, because I haven’t. The first time it happened I was only twenty-one years old and I responded with as much fear and anxiety as could be expected. The second time the fear only slightly lessened, but by the third incident, I was livid. I was ready to quit fighting to live. Even worse, I was ready to quit on God. It was wrong of God to allow me to suffer so much, so why should I pretend like I was okay worshipping a cruel, aloof dictator? I actually went to throw my Bible, a once-prized possession, in the trash. Yet I couldn’t quite bring myself to do it, so I gave God an ultimatum. I told Him I no longer thought He was a kind, loving God, and I was going to give Him one chance to convince me otherwise. I then proceeded to spend the next year pouring myself into studying God’s Word. Due to being on multiple immunosuppressants, I was literally confined to my house aside from regular doctor and hospital visits. As painful as that year was, it was a transforming, life-defining year.
I learned that my understanding of God and the Bible was wrong. My definition of good means no pain, but that’s not feasible. Somewhere along the way, we got the idea that having a relationship with Jesus meant we didn’t have to suffer. Yet because we live in a broken world, we aren’t exempt. The only way for us to no longer endure brokenness is to no longer live on this earth, meaning we’re dead and in Heaven. So, where’s the hope?
One of my favorite passages of Scripture is found in Daniel 3 when Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego were thrown into a fiery furnace for not denouncing their faith. The reason I love this passage is twofold. First and foremost, we see in verses 24-25 they weren’t alone in their suffering. Jesus joined them in the fire. Therein lies the great promise to those who have a relationship with Christ and the reason why we can have a joy-filled, thankful heart. Yes, we will endure suffering and hardship in this life just like everyone else, but we don’t walk through our trials alone. We have been promised that God will never leave us or forsake us (Deut. 31:6). Because of Jesus willingly choosing to die on the cross so that we might have a relationship with Him, we are offered comfort only God can give to His children who are going through hard times. He may not take away the suffering, but He does ease the burden. Even better, God will use our trials and turn them into something good. One of my favorite verses in all of the Bible is found in Daniel 3:27 when it says, “The satraps, the prefects, the governors and the king’s high officials gathered around and saw in regard to these men that the fire had no effect on the bodies of these men nor was the hair of their head singed, nor were their trousers damaged, nor had the smell of fire even come upon them.”
Have you ever been around a campfire? As fun as they are, the smell is awful once you step away from the fire. The smell of smoke permeates everything on your body. That’s what normally happens when a person endures a personal trial. It negatively impacts him or her. Yet when we have a relationship with God, if we keep our focus on Him and have a spirit of gratitude, it doesn’t matter how severe the trial or how big the fire. We will come through and we won’t smell like smoke.
Talk about a testimony! Have you ever been around someone who radiates joy despite all they’ve had to endure? Compared to someone who is negative and bitter, the difference is astounding. People are drawn to those who have hope and joy even though their lives are challenging, and because God made it possible for us to have a relationship with Him, we get to be those people who point others to God no matter what. I want that more than anything else! Yes, I have three chronic illnesses, but it doesn’t have to destroy me because my God is bigger than any fiery furnace this life throws at me.
Since I’ve learned this truth, I’ve endured two other times where I should have died. The most recent happened last month. I contracted meningitis from the vaccine. Even though I wasn’t contagious, I could have and should have died. I knew I was experiencing pain, but I kept reminding myself of Nehemiah 8:10 which says, “Do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” When my doctor finally figured out what was wrong, she asked me how I was not only surviving, but actually living and going to work. My answer? “Thanking God each day and praying Scripture.”
God is walking with us through the fire. Do you see Him? Are you looking? More importantly, do you smell like smoke?

About Erin:
Erin Elizabeth Austin a writer, speaker, and the founder of Broken but Priceless Ministries, a non-profit organization which helps caregivers and people suffering with a chronic illness. In her spare time, she loves to spend time with family, friends, and play superheroes with her nephews. Her goal for each day is to have an adventure, laugh, love, and eat chocolate.

Links:
www.brokenbutpriceless.com
https://www.facebook.com/BrokenButPricelessMinistries/